Crawfish, Graduation, and Homecoming: Angela’s Mentorship Journey with PAIR
It's that time of the year when we reflect on another successful school year and the many accomplishments our students were able to achieve during this period. I can confidently say that every staff member at PAIR is filled with so much pride and admiration for our students. But we would be remiss if we did not acknowledge the selfless community members who gave up their time and resources to support our students in achieving their goals.
As volunteer coordinator, I work with these quiet leaders in the Houston community regularly. I get to see not only how much they do for the students but I witness the profound impact our students have on our volunteers’ lives.
In this article, I wanted to spotlight one such experience that our volunteer Angela Dowling had. Angela is one of many amazing volunteers that has been a part of our mission and this year marks her second time (yes second time) volunteering in our Global Scholars program. This is remarkable to me as the Scholars program requires a greater time commitment than some of the others.
The goal of the program is to assist our high school seniors complete their secondary studies and transition into College. Therefore, the impact of dedicating one to two years to this program cannot be understated and PAIR staff wanted to express our deepest gratitude and appreciation to Angela for all she has done while serving with us.
I was given the privilege of not only listening to her story as a Global Scholars mentor but was permitted to share her post-service interview with all of you. I do this with the intent of inspiring other community members to step up in the capacity that Angela has and possibly encourage others to have this unique and enriching experience. So, without further ado, this is Angela’s Story at PAIR.
The post-service interview is a critical aspect of my job as I get to know not just general program quality information but it also provides an opportunity for me to get into the deeper aspects of the program from the perspectives of volunteers. This is the interview I conducted with Angela and the first question I asked her was the obvious, “what inspired you to become a mentor?” Normally, you would expect “I wanted to give back” or “I wanted something to do after I retired” but Angela surprised me. In a moment of candor, she said
“It was all thanks to my therapist, actually. I was talking with her about feeling very hopeless about the general state of things one day, and she suggested I try to do something with my time that creates a positive impact. I looked into volunteering opportunities in Houston, and PAIR was one that really resonated with me. Although I’ve never been a refugee, I was an expat for a year in my twenties. I can relate to the scary feeling of being in a new place without a support system.”
Angela in that one response revealed to me the kind of soul was, one filled with compassion and authenticity. She did not come into this with ideas of grandeur or even an ego boost. She came as she was seeking to do something positive with her time. Which honestly is what we all aim to do. Realizing this I was intrigued to hear her answer to my next question “How did that motivation evolve during your time with your mentee?” This question seemed to spark the passion in her as she replied
“I think it just got stronger. I wasn’t doing it for my own mental health after a while, but because I cared about my mentee and the program at large. These kids have incredible strength and truly inspire me.” I will not lie to you at this point I was enthralled. I wanted her to tell me every minute detail and I sensed that she was the exact person that might be able to provide tips for future volunteers on relationship building between the mentor and mentee. This is what she had to say about that
“I didn’t really have a strategy going in but just wanting to see what made my mentee feel comfortable. I knew there would be an awkward stage, I accepted that, and didn’t try to put any pressure on her to let her guard down. My time with her was for her, not for me. I focused not on her past, but her present, never assuming anything or feeling superior. I just tried to get to know her and bond the way I would with anyone – through kindness and respect.” I thought this was such an integral part of relationship building that many mentors sometimes forget. There is no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to creating the mentor-mentee relationship. Going in you must accept that there will be false starts and yes it will be awkward. However, keep trying and keep showing up. Our students respond to authenticity and consistency. So hearing Angela truly understand this and still be willing to take on the role of mentor was so refreshing. For Angela, this approach eventually paid off as her mentee one day was comfortable enough to invite Angela to her first-ever school homecoming game. She relied on Angela for a small bit of affirmation and companionship in that moment and it is one of many that Angela reflects on fondly.
Feeding off that touching anecdote, I wanted to know some of Angela’s highlight reels during her service. The first thing that came to her mind was witnessing her student walk the stage for her graduation. She said “ It was pretty emotional for me. I’m so proud of her and all the work she put in to get that diploma.” However, she will always cherish the small moments she shared with her mentee. Things like doing well on assignments or going to the science museum and exploring the exhibits. In those moments she was able to appreciate how talented and special her mentee truly was. She remarked “She’s a talented, ambitious young woman with an amazing future ahead. I feel really lucky to have gotten to know her.”
The Scholars Program is a unique opportunity where you can actually see the different ways a student can grow and develop over a year, and this was no exception for Angela. When asked about the growth of her mentee she exclaimed “She’s grown in so many ways! Curiosity, self-assuredness, academic ability…it’s been such a rewarding experience seeing her mature, find her voice, and pursue her goals.” to say she was excited to report on her student’s progress would be an understatement. She wanted to particularly highlight watching how her mentee’s career ambitions evolved from one of practicality to one that drives personal passion and interest.
It is important to remember that not every aspect of this journey will be smooth. You will face challenges and you must be willing and able to overcome those with your mentee. Angela reflected on one such moment she said:
“The first thing that comes to mind was a health issue she was going through earlier in the year. She was living with a lot of pain and was having difficulty finding a surgeon who would accept Medicaid. We were even told by one clinic that “you won’t find anyone who will accept Medicaid for this”. That really frustrated me. Just the preliminary exam costs were estimated at over $1K out-of-pocket. Despite all the good work they do, even the United Way hotline was not able to point us in the right direction.
We ended up working with her PAIR case manager, who was able to find a surgeon and get the procedure done at no cost to my mentee’s family. It was pretty much a “put everything on pause until we can figure this out” scenario. My mentee was such a trooper through it all, and her case manager really went above and beyond to get her the care she needed.”
The challenges students face are not just academic, sometimes as a mentor, you will find yourself supporting them through personal and social difficulties. It will be tough and oftentimes you may even feel as though you are not having the impact you hope to have. However, as this moment shared by Angela highlights you and your mentee are not alone. PAIR staff will always be there to provide both of you the support necessary so don’t give up! Anglea truly outdid herself when it came to supporting her mentee in that vulnerable situation. That type of support and dedication is what we look for and truly appreciate from our mentors especially in this case!
Beyond the challenges though Angela and her mentee were still able to find small moments of joy a great example of this would be the crawfish taste test but I will let Angela tell the story she said
“she wanted to try crawfish because she kept seeing people talk about how good it was on social media. I hate crawfish but didn’t want to stand in the way of a new experience, so I took her to a Cajun spot for dinner. She instantly hated it, and we got to have a good laugh over our shared food preferences. I felt very affirmed coming from a city where crawfish season is nearly sacred.”
Hearing Angela’s story put into focus the importance of the work we do at PAIR. But also the invaluable work our mentors and volunteers do on a daily basis. Without volunteers like Angela, we would not be able to provide the support so many of our students need. Angela truly is an example of the kind silent heroes we have in the Houston community that we so often forget to thank. Without people like her so much of what we do would not happen. So thank you Angela Dowling for your two years of service and the remarkable work you did with your mentee!